he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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