I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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