I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize