# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
