They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize