Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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