i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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