Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
