Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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