your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
