time to smoke my breakfast
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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