The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize