what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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