So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
