Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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