i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
