he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
