Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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