their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Too much gin, very little bucket
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
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all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's shark week go big or go home
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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