as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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