so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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