No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
