a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
