its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
