so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
