It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
