drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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