take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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