No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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