I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
