It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
