Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
