im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
