whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
