I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
