why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
