Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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