I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
