Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think my tv is drunk
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
