You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
