He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
