dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
