Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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