dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
