He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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