come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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