i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
