It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Someone signed my nipple.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
