I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
