He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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