Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
