it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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