Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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