I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
