this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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