I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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