I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
