I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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