I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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