I cut my penus on the lid.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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