Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
