I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
